Come to think of it, what do I know about Japan? Almost entirely nothing.
I know that it is a great civilization on the other side of the world, I recently found out that it had the second largest economy in the world, now bumped to third by China.
I know what a samurai is supposed to look like. I think. I have eaten sushi. I think. I know that I don’t speak the language and that they are famed for their technological prowess. I know people of Japanese descent.
From here the links become even more tenuous:
I have played Shogun: Total War (fiendishly complicated, vintage computer strategy game in which one wrestles for control of feudal middle-ages Japan by marshalling hoards of poorly animated, spear-carrying yokels against your historically semi-accurate opponents whilst simultaneously trying to avoid assassination by nattily dressed, yet largely ineffectual ninjas) from this I gleaned that the Japanese currency is the KOKU, a bushel of wheat, but even this small piece of information has been rendered obsolete by the introduction of the yen in 1871. CURSES.
I have watched the eye-watering South Park episode concerning the Japanese penchant for whaling.
I am aware that they do not have the ‘L’ sound in Japanese. *
I watched the excellent film ‘Old Boy’ in a misguided attempt to educate myself about Japanese culture, only to then find out that it is Korean. AGAIN CURSES. I have since watched Battle Royale – sure in my knowledge that it is of Japanese origin. Yet that has taught me even less.
So what do you know about Japan? It cannot be any less than me. And yet I am being sent to Tokyo to work for the next three months.
Excitement, nerves and bewilderment jockey for position in my head.
And so from now on… THE ONLY WAY IS JAPAN.
* Again untrue: although the write all L’s as R’s, perversely they pronounce R’s as L’s. THRICE CURSES.
